The gardener her slave.
___________________ WEEDS:
in a room of bodies breathing heat
none of which was yours... I slowly withered too.
in a room where I stand close enough
so that another might exhaust into my open mouth... I acquiesced.
They bend and genuflect like maiden grass
and the air around them seethes
the sweet and boring masses on which I solemnly feed
here I am stifled blue vervain
a northern girl that cannot bloom
not in such austral air nor
in soil so blood stained
The sticky dew from some strangers tongue
creeps down my half cocked pistil
it gives me enough, gives me a touch of distilled life
so that I might stay ashamed of living
at least the way I do
of needing one good screw
of making my sex the nightly gin mill
but still desiring only you
and whatever's left of gods will
every would be blossom festers and degrades
for one seedy lay in the earthy bed of a nameless noxious weed
Fuck, just poison me please
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What have I been up to, you ask?
This is a digital photo taken by Fakir Musafar on April 10th, 2010, at one of his Spirit + Flesh Workshops in San Francisco. Attending one of these works shops has been a dream of mine for the last decade. It was an honor to be pierced by Fakir, who's work I've admired for so long. The purpose of this workshop is, in a very small nutshell, to take a very personal, spiritual journey and to reach ecstatic states. Specific Chakras are opened, quite suddenly, and many emotional and energetic blocks are released. Some travel out of body. Whatever happens, it's an encounter with the divine within (and without) all of us. I planned it a week before my trip to Peru. An initiation before my initiation. It's a bit too intimate for me to discuss online without a rubber.
Braving my own unedited nudity for the sake of shutter speed education.
I could have used a tan.
Miami for fun in the sun with Ms. Tiana and various mysterious companions. Many of these photos were not safe for the Internet. Not...for the people viewing them, but for the people in the photos. *Mysterious music here*
Trying to capture my vanity on film.
My vanity being foiled by the beauty of light.
Here are my very first experiments with the new Polaroid-friendly film from The Impossible Project. The first one I used the PX Silver Shade and the 2nd the TZ Artistic. I, uh, immediately took a tutorial on how to use it. The results have gotten...interesting. More to come.
Synchronistically, I found this roll of film in a box of junk in my apartment right before going to San Francisco this April. I had no idea at the time that it was a roll of black and white from years before during a different, equally as profound moment in time, when I also IN San Fran. That first time I used this film- I was in the Coast Guard and stationed in San Diego, so a few of the shots include Southern California. Also, I must have shot this same roll in New Hampshire when visiting home at some point. I'm not sure how many times I've exposed this film, accidentally, since I've moved to Chicago... I used it once since I've been here- the evidence of that being the inclusion of my rats. Though it seems that I need to start taking Ginko for my senility, I find the results to be absolutely beautiful. I'm inspired to attempt to recreate similar effects.
These are pictures of my general, every day life around Easter time.
This photo is terrible. More terrible than other terrible photos in this set. However, it happens to be fucking hilarious. Please take a moment to imagine the circumstances under which you might find yourself using this button.
I finally am beginning to understand the appeal of competitive, professional sports to the male population. It's caveman shit. You yell and beat your chest in hopes that your preferred team of well-conditioned athletes will kick the opposing team's well-conditioned athlete's asses. You get to do shit-talking and become shit-faced. Lots of good "shit".
On our way to sports times.
The only time you will EVER see me in this sort of headwear is when a cute boy buys one for me at a sporting event...especially when it will facilitate in my getting laid (by said cute boy).
Woooooooooooo! YEAH! (that's not what it sounded like though, because the Bulls got pummled).
Later, after I was intoxicated, I still insisted on taking photos on my way out of the arena.
Whoops. Always remember to push the little button down on the bottom of your camera before you rewind it.
Last but not least some stragglers from the last entry. These were also from the roll of film that I effed over (see above). I like these. I like effed over photos. Mostly because I think that maybe, just MAYBE, they aren't as effed as we think.
Evidence of Angelic presence hovering over my bed cats.
Tia's big, fat power field.
Obvious other-worldy, energetic influence.
Ta-Da.
